Stressed about Love? :: Advice, Solutions, Escapism
First Date Faux Pas! by Karen Town :: first date advice for women ::

First Date Faux Pas!

Finally, the cute guy in the office has asked you out on a date…here are some suggestions of what not to do if you want a second date!

  • Ask him if you look fat.  Lets face it, this is every man’s nightmare question and he wouldn’t tell you the truth anyway!  Save this little idiosyncrasy of yours until he knows you better and accepts you and all of your shortcomings.  You want to appear to be comfortable and self-confidant, even if you are finding it hard to breathe from sucking in your stomach all night.
  • Order a glass of water and a side salad.  Men like a woman who is comfortable with herself and if you sit there pushing a piece of iceberg lettuce around your plate he will just think that you are self-obsessed and dull.  Likewise however, don’t reach across the table with your fork and scoff down his leftovers asking ‘aren’t you going to eat that?’  You don’t want to remind him of his great Aunt Bertha!
  • Rabble on all night about your ex-boyfriend.  Even if you think you are winning brownie points by insulting his predecessor, he will be sitting there wondering if a) you are still carrying a torch for the last love or else why would you still be talking about him? Or b) how the heck you are going to talk about him after you part company.  Pay attention to the only man that matters right now and that’s him!
  • Declare that you think that the latest Celine Dion number should be ‘your song’.  If this doesn’t make him run a mile then the only explanation is that he is paralysed by the sudden fear that your next question is going to be how many children he wants.
  • Ask him how many children he wants!  Most men feel like they have made a commitment when they ask you out for a whole dinner instead of just a quick drink.  Talking marriage, babies or china patterns will bring him out in hives.  By all means plan your seating chart in your head but keep the conversation light … and if at all possible about him!
  • Talk about meeting parents… his or yours!  He will probably want to put off meeting your parents for as long as possible and lets face it, do you really want your Father grilling him with questions such as ‘what are your intentions with my daughter?’
  • Here’s the biggie!  Don’t have sex with him on the first date.  Even if he is drop dead gorgeous (and of course he probably is otherwise why would you have gone out with him in the first place) resist, resist, resist!  The old saying is ‘will he still respect you in the morning?’  Probably not!  Besides, much like an ice-cream binge… it will probably leave you feeling somewhat ashamed and quite a lot guilty!

Karen Town is a trainee psychotherapist and co-founder and Editor of Why Men Are Online Magazine, an online magazine for women. She lives in the UK with her husband, four daughters and two cats.

©Karen Town. Why Men Are

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